Adoption Update: Bonding and Attachment

Yesterday we went to visit Baby Girl's orphanage. We hadn't been there in a while and wanted to bring Baby Girl back so everyone could see her as well as bring a cake we had for them. We also have some friends who are adopting from the same orphanage. They live in the States so we went to check up on their little guy and take pictures and video for them. We even Skyped live with them while we were there so they could see their precious guy in real time. It was fun!

One child is different from the rest... =)

When we arrived ALL the children rushed out to great us. One of the bigger kids grabbed Isaiah and another one grabbed Baby Girl. They were all shouting "Zander, Zander!" (A nickname that they have for Baby Girl).

Some of the precious faces who came out to greet us.

For those of you who are close to someone who has adopted, you may remember them asking you to be a little "hands off" with their newly adopted child at first. Of course all adoptive parents want you to love on their child, but many parents choose to "cocoon" the baby at home for a certain period of time, with the parents being the only ones to feed, bathe, hug, kiss, love on, etc their child. This is so that the newly adopted child can begin to form a strong bond with their new adoptive parents. It is a very wise thing to do especially for a child who has had much trauma in their life and/or been moved around from caretaker to caretaker.

The bassinet with the blue blanket on it is where Baby Girl slept.

Since we have had Baby Girl home we have constantly been working on gaining her love and trust.  Because I am a stay at home mom, I am the one who meets all of Baby Girl's needs during the day (with Drew (being the awesome, hands-on dad that he is) helping out on evenings and weekends). Baby Girl has developed a deep bond with both of us and adjusted amazingly well. We could not have asked for things to go any better. But, until we went back to her orphanage, we didn't realize just how attached she had become to us!

Cutting into the cake we brought for them. They were SO excited!

Baby Girl started screaming and crying at the top of her lungs when they grabbed her away from us. Not right away, but as soon as we got out of her line of sight, she lost it! We immediately took her back, comforted her, and she calmed down. The staff at the orphanage just couldn't keep their hands off of her though and grabbed her back soon after. It's understandable because they loved and cared for her for her first 5 months of life and they were so excited to see her.  She did end up letting some people hold her but always kept an eye out for mommy and daddy and wanted to come back to us often.

These kids love this little toe-headed white boy!

Isaiah finds anything that's on wheels, no matter where he goes!

We were THRILLED with her response!! It means that she now knows that we are "hers". She belongs to us and we belong to her. She is OURS! She finds comfort and security in our arms, not in the arms of any old stranger, and not even in the arms of those who cared for her three months ago. She loves us and wants us to be close by. She knows we are her parents! It can bring tears to an adoptive parent's eyes when this shift happens in a child. We are so grateful that God has allowed her tiny little heart to put aside (for now) the hurt and pain she has experienced in her life and learn to love and trust a family who, just months ago, were strangers to her.

Praise the Lord! He does ALL things well!!