Hey Dads: A Man of Sayings for the Man of Sorrows

Below is my collection thus far of some quotes, one-liners, and their explanation (if need be) I have collected from others over the years and or have created from something I've learned. I want to instill these into my children.

"Envy is the seed of discontentment; it gives birth to chaos!" - From James 3:16

"Teach-ability is the posture of humility."

"You can have the best jam in town, but if you spread it on too thin, the toast is no good." - Stewart Hamrick, on spreading yourself too thin in life.

"God will not protect you from anything he will perfect you through." - Bill Muntz on losing his toddler son to a drowning accident.

"Per-se-vere is a three syllable word. Just as 'life'." Referring to life being birth, living, and dying and that trials will come. But we're to persevere well through all 3 eras.

"Unresolved anger is like bad coffee." Referring to unresolved anger or bitterness being like coffee on the burner for too long. If you drink pop over coffee, then it's like pop that's gone flat.

"Discipline is doing what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of how you feel." - Ron Sauer, Greek Prof at Moody Bible Institute

"Cheer for the team, even in defeat." - On loyalty

"Do > Say." - On James 1, being a person of action makes for more influence than merely a person of words.

"Be offensive towards defensiveness." - Referring to being a person who takes ownership of mistakes.

"Who cares if God doesn't?" - On learning in life what matters to the Lord.

Leaving a legacy our children will be proud to carry on is a more difficult feat to conquer than ever. Amidst so many distractions our world promotes today, it is more of a sheer fight to focus on what really matters most.

You can easily look at one's Twitter or Facebook page and easily see where their priorities are. No, I'm not trying to play the role of judge nor cirtic. I just often find many disclosing things virally which are a tad weightless and vain. Do you agree? (And I myself have been victim of this.)



Having said this, one thing I have come to want to be known for by Isaiah and future children, as well as friends and family, is to be a man of sayings for the Man of sorrows. Simply meaning, I want to have several expressions, phrases, figure of speech which I collect or create which teach a life-lesson, a principal, or a token of character. They don't have to be from the Bible or even from a Christian. But, I would love for the greater portion of them to help me and those who hear me say them live life well, and in turn, reflect the work God has done in me through his cultivating grace.

Trying to conquer fixing the sink together.

As I am a young father, I write this post with other young dads, older dads, and future ones in mind. As we're all terminal, and as life is such a blink, seemingly smoke on a mirror, it will be what we did and were known for which lives on following our passing. What is so awesome is that even our words are seeds which give birth to action in the lives of others. Hence, what we say and how we say it hold great potential in leading others in how they may live. Therefore, I want to be known not merely for the things I do, but for what I say.

If you have any that you could add to the list or you say often, I'd like to know - so please share!

Depraved Indifferance

WOW!!!!! Exactly how we feel as we prepare to adopt our little one(s) from Uganda and serve the people there! Please take a few minutes to watch this clip. It will rock your world (and may bring tears to your eyes)!!

An Oldie but a Goodie

We ran across this blog post from Drew's old blog today and thought it deserved a re-post. It's the post he wrote after Isaiah was born and it is one of our favorite posts of all times. When we think back to those first days of having our first child there is nothing that can compare. It is an amazing, beautiful, indescribable thing to become a parent. Enjoy!!

Click Here ---------------> The Birth of Isaiah

A Godly Wife

Over a year and a half ago, in preparation for a devotional I gave at my sister's wedding shower, I did a little research into what it means to be a godly wife. This morning, while I was doing my devotions, I found that piece of paper tucked away in my Bible, covered with notes and references I had written down. As I re-read what I had written I was encouraged all the more to continue striving to be a supportive, respectful, God-fearing wife to my husband! It is a high calling and a rewarding endeavor!

I'd like to share some of my notes with you today. Nothing too deep, just some verses and a little bit of commentary. May it be encouraging to you wives out there as you seek to be the help-mate your husband needs in you!

<3 Wives should clothe themselves with the beauty that comes from within- the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. Women who trust God and accept the authority of their husbands are beautiful. Wives must do what is right without fear of what their husbands may do (1 Peter 3:1-6).

<3 A disgraceful woman is like cancer in her husband's bones (Proverbs 12:4).

• Disgraceful: bringing shame or dishonor, causing a loss of respect , honor or esteem.
• Cancer: a deep and life-threatening problem. Any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively.

<3 A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping (Proverbs 19:13). It is better to live in the corner of an attic than with her (Proverbs 21:9).

• A marriage that looks good on the outside is unrewarding if it is filled with quarrels.
• Quarrelsome: argumentative, contentious, causing a temporary or permanent break in friendly relations. Making complaints and finding faults.

<3 God hates a broken covenant. He hates divorce. The Lord puts a husband and a wife together to produce Godly children. The Lord doesn't accept my worship when I am unfaithful to my husband (Malachi 2:14-16).

<3 A Virtuous and capable wife is more precious than rubies. She greatly enriches her husband life. She brings him good, not harm (Proverbs 31:10-12).

• Virtuous: morally excellent, upright, chaste, pure, conforming to moral and ethical principles.
• Enrich: to supply with abundance of anything desirable. To add greater value or significance to. To make finer in quality. To make richer or fuller.

<3 God made marriage a sacred union and humans do not have the right to break it apart (Matthew 19:6).

<3 A married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34).

<3 A wife must submit to her husband as to the Lord. A husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. Wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:23-33)

• Submit: submission is not expressed out of fear or a desire for personal gain but out of reverence for Christ. It is obedience. To give over or yield to the power or authority of another. To allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment or influence. To defer to anothers' judgment, opinions, decisions, etc. To comply, bow, obey, agree, resign, yield.

Where Are The Bonhoeffers of This Generation?

"When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."

 

During my final year of high school I came across a book titled Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. After reading through it, I knew from thereon that Bonhoeffer would be both one of my heroes, as well as keenly instrumental to my growth and understanding of what it means to live out Christ in this world.

106 years ago from this month, Bonhoeffer was born. What emerged from his life is a profound legacy which serves us today as it pertains to understanding how to live out community and Christ in our world.

Recently a dear friend of mine began reading a newly published biography on Bonhoeffer. This friend told me in reading it that he felt like he understood me better as a brother in Christ. Unbeknownst to him, that meant much to me as well as it moved me to dust off my Bonhoeffer books and read through some of the wrinkled and note-laden pages. In doing so, I came across this quote which birthed the writing of this post:

"What could be greater than to live one's life in faith before God? What could be greater than to live one's life to God in hope? Even greater is the love which lives in God. 'Walk before me' (Genesis 17:1). 'Whoever lives in love lives in God' (1 John 4:10). What is greater than the humility of faith which never forgets the infinite distance of the Creator from the creature? What is greater than the confidence of hope which longs for God's coming and longs to see God's reality? Even greater is love, for already here it is certain of God's nearness and presence everywhere. This love clings to God's love and knows that God's love wants nothing but our love. What is greater than faith which hopes for its salvation in Christ and holds fast to Christ and is justified in him? What is greater than hope which hour after hour focuses on a blessed experience of dying and a radiant homecoming? Even greater is the love that senses, the love that forgets everything for the other and even sacrifices one's own salvation to bring it to one's family. For 'whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.' (Matthew 16:25)"

Nearly every line of Bonhoeffer is quotable. And, he wrote on several subjects; from community and confession, to marriage and discipleship. He would have certainly written more, had he not been exceuted.

The West Door at Westminster Abbey: Bonhoeffer is on the far right, being one of these four Christian heroes from the 20th Century.

One of many things which is ever encouraging about Bonhoeffer was his desire to explore the body of Christ in different cultures and contexts and embrace different forms of worship. He believed Christianity to be displayed most grand before the eyes of the world only when Christians are seen as most unified with resolve to stand together in Christ, despite any differences.

Translation: "Our being Christian today will consist of two things: prayer, and righteous action among men."

(I took a year of German while in college; I'm more than a tad rusty  and it took me a half hour to translate this,so please correct me if I botched something here.)

Above all else, his legacy is one of integrity. He lived what he preached, hence the initial quote above. Distraught over his fellow brothers and sisters in Germany during World War II, Bonhoeffer found himself faced with the choice to avoid a highly probable death by concentration camp and live in the US until the war ended or return to Germany. His heart broke for his fellow man and a fear of death was alive in him no more. He returned to Germany regardless of any fatal outcome only to write these words weeks before his passing: When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.

No doubt these words are a call to release ourselves from as much selfishness as possible, but Bonhoeffer takes it to another level, a Christ-like level and lives them out in dying for the Christ who called him. Bonhoeffer was executed after recently preaching a sermon in 1945 in the Flossenbürg concentration camp during what was then Nazi Germany. Leaving this earthly home to arrive Home at only 39 years of age, Bonhoeffer validated his life, being conscious of the times, and living as if his last days could be at hand. And sure enough, they were.

One point of application that I arrive at time and again from Bonhoeffer's life is this: There will be times in our life when we are given the choice to face our fears (implying that we don't have to face them, we can ignore or run from them). In facing them, we realize these fears are bigger than us, yet also that Christ is bigger than our fears. From this, we may still have some degrees of timidty within, but because of Christ, we live as if fear has left us. And it's herein God does in a life the things he did through Bonhoeffer.

Where are the Bonhoeffers of this generation?

HERE WE GO: FLIGHT TO UGANDA BOOKED & BOUGHT!

"I'm leaving on a jet plane.

Don't know when I'll be back again!"

It's true! We are leaving on a British Airways jet plane and we don't know when we'll be back again! We finally have our tickets to leave for Uganda. We will be leaving the country on May 16 and will be greeted by IJM personnel in the airport of Entebbe, Uganda two days later! The EXCITEMENT level is off the charts; we'd board a plane tomorrow if we could!

We will be in Florida in the days leading up to our departure. We look forward to visiting with our Florida friends and family before we leave.

Our passports and tickets from the trip Amber and I took to Uganda to get engaged.

Can't wait to taste that fresh, sweet, Ugandan fruit, have some Chai, and see that beautiful Ugandan scenery again. Uganda, here we come!

What a babe.

With the clock winding down before we leave, we still have much to do. If we come to mind, will you join us in prayer for the strength and guidance to get done all that we need to prior to leaving?

Adoption Update: One Step Closer

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time & miles,
growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,
are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us
by God's very own hands.
Kristi Larson

We've had some exciting things happen regarding our adoption in the last few weeks and we'd like to update you on our progress!

In our 2011 Year in Review we asked for prayer that Amber would receive her background check from Morocco. Boy, did we feel the prayers of our friends and family around the world! It wasn't but a few days later that we received an e-mail from Am's power of attorney in Morocco telling us that she had gotten the background check and would send it back with her son who was returning to the US the next week. This was much quicker than expected. PRAISE THE LORD!!



Finally holding the background check!



Notice the word "Neant." This means Amber did not commit any crimes while in Morocco. Whew!

 As soon as we received the background check we sent it on to our agency and anxiously waited to receive the final copy of our home study approval. We were so excited to find six copies of our home study sitting in our mailbox this morning! Now we are officially home study approved!

Our long awaited for Home Study Approval!



Zai is preparing to be a big brother with Am's old baby doll.

Giving the baby a kiss.

And a sweet hug.

Soon to be a family of four!

Our next step will be to send our home study, along with the form I-600a (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition) to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) and wait for an appointment to be fingerprinted. If they approve our home study and our fingerprints come back clean we will have USCIS approval - the final step we need to complete before we leave for Uganda. We will be sending in our I-600a and home study tomorrow morning. Yay!

We would ask for prayer that all would go smoothly and that we would receive our USCIS approval before we leave in May. Trying to figure out how to get Am's background check from MA really set us back and thus, we are now a bit pressed for time to receive our approval. BUT, with God all things are possible. We have seen his hand move mightily and we know that he hears and cares when his people call on his name!

We will keep you updated on our progress!

  Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows —

this is God, whose dwelling is holy.

God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

LOVE AND LOGIC MAGIC!: The Final Post

"I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth." 3 John 1:4

Hello again!! It's me and I'm back with one last post. If you haven't been around in a while, my past four posts have been about a parenting book that Drew and I love called Love and Logic Magic. You can find my previous posts here, here, here, and here.

To end my series on parenting I'd like to remind you that it's never too early to start teaching your children! Some people believe that children cannot learn or benefit from discipline until they can converse. Nothing is further from the truth! By the age of nine months, human babies are more intelligent than any other creature on the planet. Begin discipline early so that it will be easier to enforce as your child gets older!


Isaiah loves his Aunt Adelynn



Isaiah with his cousin, Gavin, and his Mimi and Poppy.



Our little family!

This opening presents stuff is fun!



My parents didn't have Love and Logic when I was born but they raised me using many of the same techniques. I'm so thankful for the time and effort they put into parenting us children in this way and I think they did a wonderful job! I have always been best friends with my mom and I have an even greater appreciation for her now that I'm a mom myself! In the same way, Drew is best friends with his dad! We are so blessed to have godly examples of family who show us what it means to be good parents!

And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.

Titus 2:7

Bed Head!



Eating his "man" breakfast. Sausage and eggs!

  

Always lovin to make music!

Being a parent can be a tough job but it can also wield many wonderful rewards! God gives us encouragement in His word: Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us that, “The Lord is indeed going before you – he will be with you; he will not fail you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged!” We have the best teacher a parent could ask for in the Lord! He's given us His word and He's given us a direct lifeline to Him (prayer) that gives us ultimate access to a wealth of information on how to be a parent. And the Lord is walking us through the process. No issue or question is to small to bring before Him! 



Oh, a drawer that's not in the dresser at the moment? A perfect spot for a hideout!

  

Supporting Drew's youth group with our Under Fire hoodies.

One of my favorite quotes from the Love and Logic book is this: A simple trick of successful parenting is to have lots of fun with your kids when they're behaving so they'll miss you when they go to their room. What a wonderful way to parent! =) Be silly with your kids. Have fun. Partake in the joy. Then, when they misbehave, all the fun shuts down. You're not angry, and you don't yell, but you are very boring when their behavior turns sour. Teach them that a life of misbehavior is pretty dull.

 Remember: Parenting Can be Fun! :)

Zai loves his Auntie Addie and Auntie Janae because they play fun games with him!

 Well, it's been fun and I'm a bit sad now, but I think it's time to end this series! I've enjoyed writing these posts because it's helping to drill these concepts into my mind as well!

I just want to encourage some of you out there who may be discouraged in your parenting journey. Parenting is not guaranteed. Sometimes parents can do ALL the right things and they still end up with disobedient or rebellious children. Some children are more strong willed than others and thus make parenting more difficult. Different children need different punishment techniques. Different parents need to use different punishment techniques! And despite our best efforts, our kids may not turn out as perfect as we want them to. And that's ok. You know why? Because God has instructed us to do our best in raising our children. He doesn't expect us to be perfect and it's not always our fault if our children stray.

At the end of the day, we can take comfort in knowing that we have done the best job we can as parents- we have covered our children in prayer, we have learned what God's word says about children/discipline, and we have determined, with the Lord, the kind of parenting our children need. In the end, some of it is out of our hands!

I am totally head over heals in love with this boy. =)

Something I read in my Bible study this week really encouraged me. It said: "Children make choices and choices have consequences. We can only train, guide, and discipline. Then we hope and pray. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time, and we must never stop praying! Our job as parents is to try and turn our children's hearts towards God, knowing full well that some hearts turn towards Him and others turn away." Amen! 

 I'd like to leave you with a song by one of my favorite artists, Sara Groves. It is a very moving song about how our actions today affect our children and our children's children and their children's children, and so on. We can pass on a curse or a blessing to our future children! What legacy do you want to pass on????